


Jumpers aren’t supposed to be this bothersome

by YellowAndVeritablyBonaFide



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur can’t deal with his emotions like a normal human being, Based on Heather by Conan Gray but it’s happy and not a song fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24057232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowAndVeritablyBonaFide/pseuds/YellowAndVeritablyBonaFide
Summary: The Pendragon’s host a casual get together while Uther is away. Arthur spends the entire time with Merlin (of course) until... he spends a moment with Gwen and Merlin takes it entirely the wrong way.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 232





	Jumpers aren’t supposed to be this bothersome

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope everyone is safe and well during this pandemic and that you guys can find a moment away from the madness in my fics :)
> 
> I can’t apologise enough for being so inactive recently :( I’m trying to get back into the swing of things and hope to have better fics, faster!
> 
> In this one they’re sixth form age so for anyone not in England they’re about 17 or 18 :)

It’s late but still light out and the casual drinking has become a quite serious drinking for some (cough cough Gwaine). The music is a random Spotify playlist of noughties hits blaring from Morgana’s bedroom window. The teenagers are mostly people the Pendragon’s have bonded with in their history class and a few others they’ve charmed into friendship. The party is more of a casual get together during half-term and Arthur is making the most of it by spending the entire time with Merlin.

They’re sitting alone, on a log by the fire, shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh because-as always-Merlin is cold. Merlin was cold when they first met, Arthur offered to swap seats so Merlin could be next to the radiator instead. Merlin had smiled at him warmly and they’d been friends ever since. Everyone else is dotted around the back garden; some dancing, some chatting, some drinking.

He gives another violent shiver so Arthur leans away slightly to tug off his jumper. Merlin watches as Arthur’s shirt rides up with the motion and how it reveals a lightly hair covered, tan six-pack. Merlin swallows thickly as Arthur’s head pops out the bottom of the jumper and grins. Arthur easily wrestles it over Merlin’s head, leaving the much smaller boy to put his arms through the holes himself.

Merlin looks up through his eyelashes with a blush. “Thanks.”

It’s Arthur’s favourite jumper, he knows, he wears it all the time. Merlin had asked about it once but he’d just said that it goes with everything. He is right–the dark grey means it looks nice with any trousers. The simple white logo of an offshore brand makes him look only a bit less posh than his father wants him to. Merlin laughed when he first saw it, claiming it to be one of the tackiest things he’d ever seen. That may have just been because he was startled by how stupidly sexy it made Arthur look. It is comfortable as well, Merlin finds as he snuggles into the fabric.

Arthur hums as he fixes the rest of the jumper. It absolutely swamps him and Arthur gets a rush from thinking how he’s claimed Merlin. It’s a primal surge of protectiveness. He’s marking his territory. 

“It looks better on you anyway.”

Merlin stares at his face for a moment longer than he usually does. “Your hair’s fucked up.” 

Before Arthur can really process anything other than Merlin’s eyes looking at him and only him, Merlin’s fingers are in his hair. They feel deliciously good against his scalp; he has to restrain himself from closing his eyes, leaning into the touch and moaning a little.

Merlin’s fingers are gone much too soon and, if Merlin’s little content smile is correct, his hair is suitably less fucked up. He presses himself closer to Merlin to try and replace the warmth of fingers in his hair.

”Now who's cold?” Merlin teases, leaning into Arthur and placing his hand over Arthur’s where it’s twiddling with the bark on the log.

Arthur scoffs and shoves him with his shoulder, ”I never get cold.”

Merlin hums in amusement, ”What about when we went ice-skating and you only brought two layers?” He looks at Arthur, biting his lip to subdue his smile.

You can't blame Arthur for being distracted by that smile, so you can't blame him for taking a few seconds longer than usual to reply. ”Well, at least I didn't bring a million layers. Honestly, you looked like a snowman.”

Merlin turns his nose up at him, ”It was Christmas! I was thinking about the theme!”

Arthur chuckles letting his real laugh out, not letting it be hindered by his punctilious father. Merlin notices when he doesn't laugh properly so he's made it a priority to always laugh loudly with Merlin. 

”How are you getting home tonight?” Arthur asks, recalling the day before when Merlin mentioned his mother was visiting a sick relative.

Merlin picks at a loose thread on his jeans. ”I was gonna walk, it's a nice evening and—”

”I’ll give you a lift.” Arthur always offers to drive him anywhere and everywhere all the time. It's just second nature to offer by now.

Merlin smiles up at him, ”Thank you.”

Arthur’s breath catches in his throat and he can just about reply, ”No worries.”

Gwaine’s obnoxious laugh echoes around the large garden - it's tinted with the unabashedness of alcohol. It’d been a few hours since everyone had arrived and almost everyone is a little tipsy with the evening.

”How is your... Was it your aunt that's ill?” Arthur asks, treading carefully around his genuine concern for everything involving the boy.

When Merlin said his mother would be gone for a few days, his traitorous heart had jumped at the thought of them possibly spending more time together. Guilt tugs at Arthur–he would never wish sickness upon anyone but he can’t help his hope at opportunities that arrive.

”Yes, ” Merlin says. ”I'm impressed, Arthur. Normally, you can't even remember where your own backside is.”

”As against you who can't ever find yours.”

They share a smile. Arthur’s glad the conversation is light and the bumps Merlin’s shoulder to prove it.

”Mum says she's doing really well. She should be home in a few days.” Merlin looks out into the sky, distracted by thoughts of his mother coming home.

Arthur can't help the relief that floods his heart. He doesn't know what he’d do if Merlin lost someone dear to him. He isn't exactly adept at handling emotions. 

”You know that you're always welcome here.” Arthur says, as he does every once in a while, to remind Merlin to come over more often. ”Maybe I could trick Morgana into cooking for us.”

Merlin barks out a laugh at that. ”You should watch yourself. I might team up with Morgana and make you cook dinner.”

Arthur opens his mouth and puts his hand on his heart in faux shock. ”As if you would do that!”

Merlin shrugs, showing his palms. ”Can’t not never tell, Pendragon.” 

Arthur laughs at that. His fondness for Merlin only grows with every interaction they have.

Merlin cuddles into the jumper more and subtly tries to shuffle closer to Arthur. The look of Arthur’s hand on his catches his attention and he feels warm all over. He smiles up at Arthur, biting his lip to contain his smile. Arthur holds his gaze with stunning blue eyes and the softest smile. If Merlin didn’t know any better he’d assume that this eye contact was a pre-cursor to a kiss.

He’s just about to lean in when Arthur's eyes move away from his. His eyes follow Arthur's but he really wishes he wasn't such a curious soul as his eyes land on Gwen. He looks at Arthur's face, watching his eyes watch Gwen. 

Gwen is gorgeous. In this summer evening, wearing a floral tea dress, she looks ethereal. She looks angelic as the fabric flutters around her legs as she floats towards the drinks table. She glows with her sun-soaked skin and Merlin really wishes she were cruel, that he had a reason to hate her. But she's an angel. What a sight for sore eyes and all that. Arthur deserves someone like her.

She looks back to the pair of them; having felt the eyes on her. Merlin ducks his head but Arthur grins at her. They exchange a look. One in which she bites her lip and quirks her eyebrows, nodding for him to join her. Arthur smiles back and begins to stand. Merlin feels the familiar rock of rejection in his belly. Arthur gives excuses to leave but Merlin smiles and waves him off. Gwen deserves someone like Arthur.

He and Arthur had been friends for a long time. They’d been thick as thieves within weeks of knowing each other and Merlin has been cultivating a crush ever since. He’d really tried to quell it and when that didn’t work he tried to kill it off by kissing other boys but that didn’t work either. He watched Arthur date a girl and hoped that Arthur’s straightness would finally knock it out of him. Then Arthur kissed a boy. Then Arthur came out as bi. That night Merlin had cried his eyes out and lied to his mum about feeling sick. He’d missed a week of school because of that. Arthur offered to teach him what he’d missed at school. So they’d spent two evenings in the Pendragon residence with Arthur teaching him and tentatively correcting his mistakes. It was then that Merlin admitted to himself that he may very well be in love with the Pratdragon.

But he still couldn’t shake the feelings, the fantasies that Arthur starred in even while sitting right next to him. It was just something about the ambiguity that left the rejection with big, bold question marks after it. The question marks left Merlin to hope and dream. 

He’d gotten drunk on Christmas and had a row with his mum after she suggested he go to the Pendragon’s to give them the Christmas muffins she’d made. Then all his self-loathing walls had collapsed to explain how strongly he felt about Arthur. She’d suggested that he talk to Arthur and ask him on a date but Merlin yelled about friendships and ruining things until his mother cried. He’d apologised profusely the morning after with breakfast and a lecture on how great a mum she is. She’d forgiven him but the memory still makes him cry.

There had been a few moments where Merlin thought Arthur might like him back. For instance, that time where Arthur invited him to lunch with Morgana and Gwen but he’d had to decline because he hadn’t been paid yet. This was when he’d worked in the cafe his Mum’s sister runs. Arthur had turned up on his doorstep and dragged him out, saying that he’d pay if Merlin kissed him on the cheek. Merlin had laughed it off back then, ignoring how delighted he felt after having his lips brush the barely-there stubble on Arthur’s cheek. He doesn’t remember that feeling anymore. What he does remember is the soreness of Arthur blushing whilst pocketing the piece of paper their waitress had given him.

Then, there had been the time where their friends had sent them both down to the Pendragon’s kitchen to grab snacks and they’d ended up wrestling on the floor. Arthur easily pinned him down and the atmosphere had changed–Merlin thinks, at least–before they were interrupted by Gwaine joking about them being too distracted with each other to complete simple instructions. At the time, he swore that Arthur had glared at Gwaine but time and experience brushed that thought away.

Merlin sighs at himself, takes a glance at Arthur laughing with Gwen and decides he needs to be anywhere but here. He mutters excuses about having to pee to no one in particular.

In the relative safety of the bathroom, Merlin breathes deeply. He stares at his reflection, watches as he frowns at himself and chews his lip. His hair is a wreck; all over the place and poking out in all the wrong places. He wonders why Arthur didn’t tell him. His hands flatten it down immediately, making sure his ears are covered. He’d often wondered why he’d been cursed with such monstrosities, but sometimes Arthur smiles and tweaks them when he says something particularly insulting and he wouldn’t trade that for the world. 

His pallid skin looks like he’s been resurrected. The bags under his eyes from nights of not sleeping until one AM are large enough to be Gucci. His bitten lips look so irritated and red. The contrast of red on white is dizzying like a sick-inducing rollercoaster.

Arthur’s jumper, drowning him as it does, looks weird reflected back at him. He looks awkward and small and stupid. It reminds him of all those times he’d imagined Arthur giving him his clothes to wear like they do in movies. It reminds him of how stupid he is to think that Arthur could actually like him. He’s not Gwen, he will never be Gwen. Why would Arthur like him? He is not even close to being half as pretty as her.

Polyester has never felt so itchy so he rips it off his body, banging his elbow on the wall hard enough for him to laugh out loud maniacally to himself. He carefully turns it outside-out and folds it just how Arthur likes. He wipes at his eyes as they sting from tears before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom.

“Hey, um, I’m gonna head off now.” He finds Arthur standing in a group of people with his arm thrown lazily across Gwen's shoulders. He seems to be having a glaring match with Morgana. “Thank you for inviting me and lending this to me, ” Merlin smiles, handing back Arthur's jumper. 

Arthur breaks out of the group in a few steps and blindly takes it in a loose grasp, holding it between them. He frowns at it as if the very thought of it is disgusting. Merlin opens his mouth to offer to wash it but Arthur speaks first.

”What? But it's not even dark yet, ” Arthur protests, gesturing towards the sky.

Merlin smiles nervously. ”I just realised I'm quite tired, I think I'll have an early night.”

”Um...” Arthur seems unsure. He frowns slightly at Merlin, the concern in his eyes is bitter-sweet. ”Okay. I'll drive you home then.” He starts towards Merlin again but the boy puts a hand out to stop him.

“I’m gonna walk home. It really is a nice night and... I’d like to make the most of it, “ Merlin explains lamely.

Merlin doesn’t often lie but when he does Arthur can always tell. He’s making excuses to leave. Why? Was it something he did?

Merlin backs towards the house so Arthur follows him, still not finished with their stunted goodbye.

”Well, at least take this then. So you won't get cold.” Arthur presses the jumper back into Merlin’s hands.

Merlin stops. ”Arthur, I'll be fine—”

”No, really, it looks better on you! Keep it and wear it!” Arthur begs.

“I just... I can’t Arthur. I’m sorry.” He pushes the jumper back to Arthur with an air of finality. ”Have a nice night.”

Arthur is left standing in the fading light of the garden with his favourite jumper held limply by his side, shrouded in the feeling of rejection.

•

“Morning, mopey-head,” Morgana says as Arthur enters the kitchen. 

She hadn’t seen him since last night when he stormed back into the house after Merlin left. No one seemed to notice their disappearances but if they did, they assumed they had disappeared together.

Arthur doesn’t spare her a look and grunts an affirmation as he stares blankly into the fridge. He’s not looked like quite such a mess for a while; his under-eye circles are almost as dark as his jumper.

“Come on, Arthur, talk to me.”

“It’s nothing,” Arthur grumbles, shutting the fridge and slumping into a stool at their kitchen island. 

Morgana joins him with two glasses of apple juice in hand. ”You look like a sad puppy and I can't stand it.”

Arthur snorts but his usual mirth isn't there. “It's stupid but... there's someone I like who doesn't like me back.”

”Well, that person is obviously Merlin, ” Morgana smirks. ”And anyone with eyes can see that he obviously likes you so quit this moping stuff and text him.”

Arthur’s gut twists with bitter hope. “You don’t understand Gana.” Arthur's tired mind can't even fin the right words to express how definite last night had felt. How utterly soul-destroying the rejection was. ”He gave my jumper back.”

Morgana has to restrain herself from clipping her brother round the head. “Yes, you idiot, because he thinks you like Gwen.”

Arthur has the nerve to look affronted. “What? Why? She’s like a sister to me. She’s going to be my sister if you get the balls to ask her out.” Arthur smiles at himself when he sees his sister’s glare.

This time Morgana does slap the back of his head before taking a gulp of juice to buffer the hurt of her next words. “She doesn’t like me that way.”

“She does.”

Morgan's hasn’t seen her brother look so sincere about something so trivial in a while. She trusts him more than anything but when it comes to Gwen it’s a private thing. It’s something Arthur doesn’t understand. She could ruin everything with three words.

“That’s beside the point.” Morgana brushes the countertop as if pushing her own feelings out of the conversation. “We’re talking about you and Merlin”

Arthur and Merlin had been so close and done everything together since they met. You can’t have one without the other so their friends inherently think of them as a pair. When others organise them going out you can get a reply from one and be absolutely sure that the other one has the same. When they do go out their sides are practically glued. If they aren’t glued physically then their eyes follow each other. Everything is _ArthurandMerlin_.

“There is no Arthur and Merlin, ” Arthur sighs resolutely, pushing his glass side to side so the liquid swirls.

“Arthur, listen to me,” Morgana says. She makes sure Arthur is looking at her by placing a gentle hand on his arm. “He’s in love with you. You should have seen the way he looked at you and Gwen. He was broken, Arthur.”

Arthur tries not to think about that. He has seen Merlin look utterly crushed before. If he could just kiss away all his worries and fears then he would. If he could hold Merlin until he was okay again...

“Text him.”

“Text Gwen, ” Arthur snaps back. The immediate guilt that covers his face is enough of an apology for Morgana.

“I will if you will.”

Arthur levels a stare at her but she doesn’t back down. Everything could go so wrong for him. He could ruin his friendship with Merlin, he could make things awkward between them, he could scare him away. The relationship that he’s worked so hard for could fall at his feet like the remains of a city burned.

But... what if none of that happens? What if he gets what he’s wanted since the moment he saw the blue-eyed, big-eared boy. What if all the pointless flings to distract himself from Merlin can come to an end? What if Merlin likes him back?

“Okay.”

Arthur regrets the words even as they come out of his mouth but Morgana is a determined young woman. She’d never let him get out of a commitment. So, with shaking hands, he grabs his phone from his pocket.

_Hey, can I come over?_

Merlin answers almost immediately and Arthur can imagine a panicking Merlin rapidly typing his response.

_I don’t feel very well today_

_Then let me take care of you_

_Don’t come over Arthur_

  
He closes his eyes and tries not to drown in disappointment as he whispers to Morgana. “He doesn’t want to see me.”

Morgana looks up from where she’s beaming at her own phone. She tries to temper her smile but she fails miserably. He peers at her messages and sees the last one is from Gwen.

_see you soon_

She sends him a regretful look but he waves her off. It’s okay. Arthur’s happy for her.

“Go anyway, “ She says, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “He needs you.”

Arthur can’t quite find it in himself to believe her but gets ready to go anyway. Besides, if Morgana is gonna get cosy with Gwen, he doesn’t want to bring the mood down with his moping.

•

In the shower, Arthur has time to think about what he’s going to say. He’s going to announce that he loves him. Well... kind of a bit more like insinuate that he would like a date and then if Merlin seems fine with that then ask him on a date. Maybe they could go to a restaurant. Merlin isn’t at all traditional so that wouldn’t wow him. They could go on a picnic. That combines a lot of things Merlin likes. Nature and the outdoors and Arthur does remember him saying that his favourite food group is picnic food. 

Arthur stands in front of the bathroom mirror half-naked with semi-dried hair, psyching himself up. Who wouldn’t want to date him? With his abs and biceps and... who is he kidding? Merlin is the most special person Arthur has ever met and he doesn’t give a crap about looks so long as the chemistry is there. Is chemistry there? Every time Arthur sees Merlin there’s something between them, like an easiness, but does that count? Can Merlin feel it?

So the plan is to turn up and take care of Merlin and make sure he feels better. If he isn’t too ill then he’ll ask him out because Arthur would never want to take advantage of his weakened state. If all goes well then he can organise a picnic. They could go to an outdoor movie while the sun sets so it gets chilly enough for Arthur to offer him his jumper. 

And Merlin will take his jumper.  
  


•  
  


Arthur walks to Merlin’s to try and dissipate his nervous energy. His fingers tingle with it. He’s also trying to dry the rest of his hair and hoping that it looks as alright as it did before he left the house. Every step closer means another step away from bottling it. 

When he gets to the top of Merlin’s path he freezes. Merlin’s path has never looked so daunting, nor the door so threatening. Arthur swallows down his fears and adopts an easy smile as he follows the daunting path to the threatening door.

With every knock (and there are three) Arthur’s stomach drops an inch further into his abdomen. Every echo like a condemnation. His heart lurches when he hears the chain rattle on the latch and stops completely when he sees Merlin’s face peeking out.

He looks awful. His hair looks like he’s been through a hurricane, his eyes are so red he may as well be high and he looks so desperately sad Arthur just wants to hug him. Despite all that, he still looks adorable. He’s reminded of last night when his hair was messed up by the jumper and his perfectly cute ears were on show. Merlin’s eyebrows crease as Arthur stands on his doorstep looking at him; he wonders what he must look like after spending the night crying about the man himself. The chill from the open door is harsh as last night he just stripped to his boxers before falling asleep on the sofa and he’d not bothered to move until the knock sounded.

“Hey, “ Arthur breathes, getting over his shock only a little.

“I told you not to come.” Merlin looks away from Arthur, down at his feet as they shuffle on the hardwood floor.

“It has recently been pointed out to me that I’m an idiot, “ Arthur supplies. He ignores the pain that Merlin’s comment causes.

Merlin smiles at Arthur, already forgetting that just hours before he was cursing having ever met Arthur Pendragon. “By someone other than me?” 

Merlin opens the door all the way, moving to the side to let Arthur in.

Arthur cracks a grin, elated at having been granted entry. “Morgana, actually, “ He says and places his hand on Merlin’s hip as he passes.

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Merlin coughs to cover the blush that the touch caused. He ducks his head when Arthur next looks to him.

Merlin leads them to the kitchen where he was making himself some cornflakes. He gestures to Arthur to ask if he wants some to which the answer is yes.

Arthur hops onto the counter beside where Merlin is getting four another bowl and pouring in some of the cereal.

“We were talking about Gwen actually.”

Merlin’s lips twist together and he turns around to fetch two spoons from a draw. “Oh.”

With renewed confidence, Arthur continues. “It was fun because I got to call Gana an idiot for not asking her out.” 

“What?” Merlin freezes in place with the draw half shut.

“Well, you know me and I don’t get to call Morgana an idiot very often.”

Merlin just frowns at him and his mouth forms words as if he’s trying to figure out what language Arthur is speaking.

Arthur explains with a happy little grin. “Gwen likes Morgana and Morgana likes Gwen so I told Gana to text her.”

“You got kicked out so you came here, “ Merlin mutters, shutting the draw and opening the fridge to retrieve the milk.

Arthur’s face falls as he realises that’s he’s gonna have to spell it out. “Well, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh really?” Merlin asks conversationally as he adds the milk to the bowls. “What’s that?”

“Well...” Arthur waits until Merlin puts the milk down and looks at him. “I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me sometime?”

Merlin looks blankly at him and Arthur worries that all of his fears have come true. His stomach drops to his feet as they dangle over the edge of the counter.

“Oh...”

Arthur hops off the countertop and begins making excuses, backing towards the door–cereal already forgotten about. He regrets listening to Morgana, coming over, saying anything.

“It’s okay to say no if you don’t—“

Merlin launches himself at Arthur and he barely has the time to catch him. Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur and squeezes him tightly, squealing in his ear.

“Arthur, I—of course, I want to—fuck I really want to—“

Arthur laughs, pressing Merlin against a cupboard to force them closer together. “Would it be tacky to kiss you before our first date?”

Merlin laughs, eyes twinkling, “Everything you do is tacky.”

Arthur can only kiss him, relishing in his newfound way to shut Merlin up. Arthur moans at Merlin’s fingers in his hair, letting himself get lost in the feeling he’d so desperately tried to quell.

Arthur kisses down Merlin’s jaw to his neck and nips his ear. “Aren’t you supposed to be sick?” He gasps as Merlin bucks his hips into him.

“I just felt sick when I saw—“ Merlin interupts himself with a string of expletives as Arthur grinds back into him. “I saw you and Gwen and I just—I thought—fuck, Arthur...”

Arthur frowns and peels himself away to look Merlin in the eyes. “Me... and Gwen? There is no me and Gwen.”

Merlin shakes his head even though the proof is bitten into his skin. “But... but you look at Gwen...”

“I look at Gwen like she’s my sister. I look at Gwen knowing that Gana is absolutely smitten with her. Gwen’s at my house right now.” Arthur explains, neatening Merlin’s fringe with gentle fingers.

“I thought... when you left me last night to go talk to her I assumed...”

“Oh... that.” Arthur mutters, pecking Merlin’s lips unable to quite let go of him yet. “She wanted to talk about you. It’s obvious to everyone apart from you, apparently, that I’m infatuated with you.”

Merlin closes his eyes and lets his head drop to Arthur’s shoulder as they sway in each other’s arms.

“She was talking me up to ask you out but then you left.”

“Well, you should have done it sooner!” Merlin laughs, pressing a kiss to Arthur neck.

”Bloody typical, I do something right but you still complain.”

And, well, you can imagine Hunith’s surprise when she comes home a few days later to see her son being pinned against the sofa while Arthur kisses him senseless.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Again, I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to upload but I’m really trying to write more while we’re in these trying times x


End file.
